So, things started to look up !! . . .

Even though I think I am going through my quarter life crisis . . . 25 is such an odd age to be. . . You just finished school . . You think you should have all the answers but all you have are even more questions. . . Am I really this old? How did I get here? Why did I do that? Where will life take me? Am I ready to be with someone? Should I want to be with someone? Why do I want a baby I don't even a career? Isn't this what I wanted? Did I really work that hard just to be miserable? Will I ever figure it out?

See the thing is I can continue to go along life and hopefully figure all this along the way . . . but I am very tired of doing just that . . . I feel like I don't live life I just am alive . . . but not in that you can feel the earth move type of alive the . . . blah here I am breathing yay! I feel like something needs to change FAST!!! . . .Slowly I am doing that . . . I first feel like I need to start to put myself first. . .

The world of ME!

Take a moment put on your highest platform heel (nothing less than 4inches please), take a peek into the very confusing, ADHD infused,EXTREMELY entertaining, completely broke, over anxious, always smiling world of ME!

These last few days have been HELL! . . . perhaps it was even this month there is something about October that just brings bad things and news!! Maybe there is a reason why people celebrate Halloween this month ? Perhaps the ghouls and demons roam the earth A LOT more than we think! I have been fighting so hard against the demons of my life. No, I don't have a drug problem but feel like I should. I do overindulge but thats in shopping and eating. I feel as if i went to sleep about 8 years ago and have not woke up from the nightmare yet. Hopefully with Rrushii Loves I can remember again what I was once. . . when ADHD didn't take over my life when my heart was not mending because it never BROKE! and when my soul was at peace.

I know this week was bad . . . and I have my faith to get me through the roughness . . . I am great full for the things I do have - My family (especially my godson), My job which makes me feel I am actually good at something, My best friends because without them I would be a lot more INSANE!! The crazy things in life that do make me happy . . . SHOES, BAGS, and some more SHOES!

I was watching The Women the other night and she made this board and on the top of it she cut out the words WHAT DO I WANT? Now sitting here asking myself the very same question WHAT DO I WANT from life, love, family, work? Hopefully in the next few weeks or so i can come up with something.

So, I am going to leave you with that. For now!

kisses*
Rrushii <3